Reading is so back! Book clubs are thriving, libraries are bustling, and entire online communities are built around sharing book recommendations and reviews. Platforms like TikTok’s “BookTok” have introduced millions of people to genres they may never have explored before, sparking lively conversations and getting more people (especially younger readers) excited about stories again.
Undeniably, one of the largest growing genres is romance. Over the last few years, “dark romance” has gone from a niche subgenre to a publishing powerhouse. Whether on bookstore shelves, Kindle Unlimited, or featured in viral TikTok videos, stories compacted with “morally gray” love interests, dangerous obsession, and even non-consensual encounters are drawing millions of readers. And so, what once lived in the corners of online fanfiction forums and small indie presses is now front and center in bookstores and bestseller lists. Readers are eating up the motorcycle-helmet-wearing, gun-toting, dark-haired, dark-eyed, “I’ll burn the world down for you,” types.
The term “dark romance” comes from the way these stories deliberately step into themes that are heavier, more intense, and often taboo compared to traditional romance. While standard romance novels usually highlight love, trust, and happy endings, dark romance explores the shadow side of relationships – obsession, power imbalances, moral ambiguity, violence, or betrayal. The “darkness” isn’t just about the setting or mood, but about the emotional and ethical risks the characters take. For many readers, that darkness creates a sense of danger and intensity that makes the eventual romance feel more dramatic and consuming.
Here’s a little bit of an aside since I am a literature nerd: It’s important to note that dark romance isn’t the same as gothic romance, though the two are often confused. Gothic romance, which has roots in 18th- and 19th-century literature, typically features haunted settings, mysterious atmospheres, and a sense of suspense that surrounds the love story. Dark romance, by contrast, centers less on spooky castles or eerie landscapes and more on the psychological and emotional “darkness” within the characters and their relationships. Where gothic romance leans on atmosphere, dark romance leans on moral tension.
For many, these stories offer an intense escape. It’s got high stakes, deep emotions, and the thrill of “love against all odds,” making for addictive reading. But, as the popularity of dark romance grows, so does an uncomfortable trend: the romanticization of rape fantasies and abusive dynamics.
This doesn’t mean everyone who enjoys these books is condoning real-life abuse – far from it. Many readers can separate fiction from reality. Still, the way these fantasies are written, consumed, and talked about can blur lines in ways that have real-world consequences. To be entirely transparent – I am an avid enjoyer of fantasy romance and have consumed dark romance novels before. I understand the appeal. It is just important to me, as a survivor advocate, that we are reflecting on the way we discuss these books in our social spaces as well.
With that said – let’s unpack why this genre resonates with so many people, why certain aspects raise concerns, and how we can talk about it without shaming anyone for what they enjoy.
Why Dark Romance Appeals to Readers
- Escapism and heightened emotion.
Romance novels of all kinds are built on fantasy. Dark romance simply turns up the intensity. Readers know the stakes are fictional, which can make it feel “safe” to explore dangerous scenarios on the page. - The allure of transformation.
A recurring theme in dark romance is the “redeemable” villain: the cold, cruel, or violent love interest who becomes tender and devoted to one person. This idea that love can transform someone is compelling, especially for those who’ve experienced unreliable or inconsistent affection in real life. - Control in a controlled space.
For some, reading about non-consensual scenes in fiction can be a way to explore taboo fantasies without any actual risk. Because the reader is in control (as in, they can put the book down or skip scenes) it can feel empowering in a way that real-life situations never could.
Where the Harm Can Happen
- Reinforcing harmful myths.
When stories portray assault as a steppingstone to love or imply that “deep down” the victim wanted/enjoyed/condoned it, they reinforce dangerous ideas – the same myths survivors hear in courtrooms, police stations, and everyday conversations. These narratives can make it harder for survivors to be believed and for society to recognize coercion for what it is. - Blurring consent lines.
In some dark romances, there’s no clear acknowledgment of consent or the lack of it. This can normalize the idea that boundaries are negotiable if the person is attractive enough or “really loves you.” - Impact on younger or less experienced readers.
Adults may be able to compartmentalize fantasy from reality, but younger readers (or those without much relationship experience) may take these dynamics at face value. Without proper context, controlling or violent behavior can start to look romantic instead of abusive.
Having the Conversation Without Shaming Readers
The reality is, telling someone “You shouldn’t read that,” almost always shuts down the conversation. It can make people defensive and less willing to reflect critically on what they consume. Instead, we can approach the discussion with curiosity and respect.
We have to acknowledge the separation between fantasy and reality. It’s important to validate that fantasies don’t always reflect our values or desires in real life. Someone can read about a kidnapping in a novel without wanting to experience it outside the pages. Recognizing this makes readers more willing to engage in honest dialogue.
Additionally, we need to ask ourselves (and others) critical questions. Instead of telling someone a book is harmful, ask: “How do you feel about the way the author handled consent?” or “Do you think this relationship would work in real life?” This opens the door for reflection without assigning guilt. Bringing in survivor-center perspectives could also be an important way to share the ways certain tropes mirror real-life abuse can help readers understand the stakes without attacking their preferences. For example: “Some survivors have shared that seeing assault romanticized in fiction feels invalidating – like their pain is being turned into entertainment.” Finally, we can promote stories with healthy depictions of intimacy without banning others. It’s possible to recommend romance novels that explore dark themes responsibly, showing clear consent, respect, and recovery, while still allowing room for people to enjoy more extreme fictional scenarios.
Why This Matters
Imagine a college student who stumbles onto a few popular dark romance titles through social media. At first, she reads them for the drama and intensity, swept up in the idea of a love so consuming it feels dangerous. The characters fight, break each other’s trust, and cross boundaries – yet the story always frames these behaviors as proof of passion. Over time, she starts to internalize those patterns: the jealous outbursts, the possessive control, the way “no” is often ignored until it becomes “yes.” Without realizing it, she begins to see these dynamics as part of what passionate love is supposed to look like.
When her own partner starts checking her phone, isolating her from friends, or pushing her sexual boundaries, she brushes it off as normal and flattering because it mirrors the behaviors she’s been reading about. Instead of recognizing red flags, she interprets them as signs that her partner must really care. What started as harmless escapism slowly shifts her expectations of relationships, normalizing abuse in ways that make it harder for her to set boundaries or recognize unhealthy behavior.
Options works with survivors every day who have been told they “must have wanted it” or “should have fought harder.” Unfortunately, these are harmful myths that can be reinforced by careless storytelling. When books portray sexual violence or stalking as a prelude to romance, they feed into the very misconceptions that allow abuse to continue in our communities.
I’m not here to police anyone’s bookshelf. People will always be drawn to intense, dramatic, even dangerous love stories. But we can (and should) talk about how those stories are written, marketed, and understood. By encouraging conversations about consent, boundaries, and respect, we make it easier for readers to enjoy their fiction while still recognizing harmful dynamics in real life.
Fiction is powerful. It shapes the way we think about love, sex, and relationships – often more than we realize. Enjoying a dark romance doesn’t mean you support abuse, but it’s worth asking: What stories are we telling ourselves about love? And do they align with the kind of relationships we truly want?
Let’s keep the conversation open, respectful, and grounded in the real-world impact of the narratives we consume. Because when we understand the difference between fantasy and reality, we give ourselves (and each other) the tools to recognize, demand, and celebrate healthy, consensual love.
If you need any additional information, have a question, or a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or click 24-Hour Chat with Options.
Written by Anniston Weber
This project was supported by subgrant number 25-VAWA-07 awarded by the Kansas Governor’s Grants Program for the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice’s STOP Formula Grant Program. The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Office of the Kansas Governor or the U.S. Department of Justice.