When discussions about domestic violence occur, certain groups are frequently overlooked. Among them is the LGBTQ+ community, and specifically bisexual women, who experience some of the highest rates of intimate partner violence of any demographic group. According to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately 61% of bisexual women experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime, compared to 35% of heterosexual women.
These statistics are startling, but they do not tell the entire story.
The question is not simply why these rates are so high. The question is what social factors contribute to this vulnerability, and why bisexual survivors are so often left out of conversations about abuse prevention and support. To understand the reality facing bisexual women, we must examine the role that stereotypes, discrimination, and biphobia can play in creating conditions that abusers exploit.
June is Pride Month – a time to celebrate the strength, resilience, and diversity of LGBTQ+ communities. It is a month dedicated to visibility, recognition, and the ongoing pursuit of equality. While Pride is often associated with celebration, it is also an opportunity to acknowledge the challenges many LGBTQ+ individuals continue to face, including intimate partner violence.
Abuse Thrives Where Power and Control Exist
At its core, domestic violence is not about anger, conflict, or poor communication. It is about power and control.
Abusers frequently identify existing vulnerabilities in their partner’s life and use those vulnerabilities to gain leverage. Financial dependence, social isolation, immigration status, disability, cultural expectations, and societal prejudice can all become tools of control.
For bisexual women, biphobia (discrimination against bisexual individuals – even by other members of the LGBTQ+ community) can create unique vulnerabilities that abusive partners may exploit.
Unlike many forms of prejudice that are openly hostile, biphobia often appears in the form of stereotypes that have become normalized in everyday conversations. These stereotypes are frequently dismissed as harmless jokes or misunderstandings. In reality, they can contribute to environments where abuse is easier to perpetrate and harder to identify.
When harmful assumptions about bisexuality become widespread, they provide abusers with ready-made narratives to justify controlling behavior.
When Stereotypes Become Weapons
One of the most persistent myths about bisexual people is that they are incapable of monogamy or commitment.
Many bisexual women have heard some variation of the same stereotype: that they are inherently unfaithful, confused, indecisive, or constantly searching for something else. While these beliefs are inaccurate and harmful on their own, they become especially dangerous in abusive relationships.
An abusive partner may use these stereotypes to justify excessive jealousy, monitoring, or isolation.
They may insist on checking phones, reading messages, controlling social interactions, or restricting friendships. They may accuse their partner of cheating without evidence or portray controlling behavior as a reasonable response to their partner’s bisexuality.
Statements such as:
- “You’re attracted to everyone, so I can’t trust you.”
- “I have to keep tabs on you because you’ll eventually leave.”
- “You can’t be satisfied with one person.”
are not expressions of concern. They are attempts to normalize surveillance and control.
Over time, these accusations can wear down a survivor’s confidence and make abusive behavior appear reasonable or justified.
Another common stereotype suggests that bisexuality is merely a phase or evidence of confusion. An abusive partner may use this misconception to dismiss their partner’s experiences, undermine their identity, or convince them that they are incapable of making sound decisions.
When someone is repeatedly told that they do not understand themselves, it becomes easier for an abuser to position themselves as the authority on reality.
This is one of the ways emotional abuse operates: by causing survivors to doubt their own perceptions and experiences.
Isolation Through Biphobia
Isolation is one of the most effective tools available to an abuser.
The more disconnected a survivor becomes from supportive friends, family members, and communities, the more difficult it becomes to seek help or leave a dangerous situation.
For bisexual women, biphobia can create unique pathways to isolation.
Many bisexual individuals report feeling caught between communities. In heterosexual spaces, they may experience prejudice or misunderstanding because of their sexual orientation. Within LGBTQ+ spaces, some report feeling dismissed, excluded, or viewed with suspicion because they are bisexual rather than gay or lesbian.
A bisexual woman in a relationship with a man may be told she is not “really” queer. A bisexual woman in a relationship with a woman may face assumptions that she has finally “picked a side.” Others encounter pressure to prove their identity or justify their place within LGBTQ+ communities.
These experiences can create a sense of not fully belonging anywhere.
An abusive partner may exploit that reality.
They may reinforce feelings of exclusion by suggesting that nobody else understands their partner, that friends will not believe them, or that support systems are unavailable. If someone already feels disconnected from community, these messages can become especially powerful.
Abuse thrives in isolation. When survivors feel unsupported or invisible, they are often less likely to reach out for help.
The Harm of Fetishization
Not all forms of biphobia are openly negative. In fact, some of the most harmful stereotypes are disguised as admiration, fascination, or attraction. Bisexual women are frequently fetishized in media and popular culture. Their sexual orientation is often portrayed as a fantasy, a performance, or something that exists primarily for the enjoyment of others.
Rather than being recognized as whole people with complex identities, bisexual women are often reduced to stereotypes that portray them as hypersexual, experimental, or perpetually available.
These portrayals can have serious consequences.
When a person’s identity is treated as a fantasy, their boundaries may be taken less seriously. Their discomfort may be dismissed. Their autonomy may be overlooked.
Fetishization also contributes to the misconception that bisexual women are inherently more sexually available than others. This belief can influence how people interpret coercion, consent, and abuse.
Survivors may find their experiences minimized because others assume they were somehow more willing, more interested, or less affected by harmful behavior.
In reality, no one’s sexual orientation changes their right to safety, autonomy, and respect.
Reducing bisexual women to stereotypes does not celebrate their identity – it dehumanizes them.
The Pressure to Remain Invisible
Another challenge facing many bisexual women is visibility.
Research has consistently found that bisexual individuals are often less likely than their gay and lesbian peers to be fully “out” in all areas of their lives. This decision can be influenced by many factors, including concerns about rejection, discrimination, misunderstanding, or previous experiences with biphobia.
For some, remaining private about their identity is a matter of safety. For others, it is a response to repeated experiences of having their identity questioned, invalidated, or dismissed.
A bisexual woman in a relationship that appears heterosexual may find that others simply assume she is straight. Correcting those assumptions can require emotional labor and can expose her to prejudice she would otherwise avoid.
Because bisexuality is often less visible, bisexual survivors can become less visible as well. When people assume bisexual women are either heterosexual or lesbian depending on their current relationship, their unique experiences can disappear from public conversations. This invisibility can make it more difficult for survivors to recognize themselves in educational materials, outreach campaigns, and support services.
The result is a troubling cycle: lack of visibility leads to lack of awareness, which leads to continued invisibility.
The Threat of Being Outed
For many LGBTQ+ individuals, disclosure of their sexual orientation can carry significant consequences.
Although acceptance has grown in many communities, discrimination, family rejection, housing instability, employment concerns, and social stigma remain very real experiences for many people.
Because of this, the threat of being outed can become a powerful form of abuse. An abusive partner may threaten to reveal a survivor’s sexual orientation to family members, employers, religious communities, or social networks without their consent. Even if those threats are never carried out, they can create fear and dependency.
A survivor may remain in a dangerous relationship because they believe leaving could expose them to consequences they are not prepared to face. This form of abuse is particularly damaging because it targets both a person’s safety and their identity simultaneously. Yet discussions about domestic violence do not always acknowledge outing as a tactic of power and control. When we fail to recognize these unique experiences, we risk overlooking survivors who need support.
You can read more about the threat of being outed in one of our previous blog posts by clicking here.
Why Research and Representation Matter
The experiences of bisexual women highlight an important reality: if we do not intentionally include people in our research, conversations, and services, their needs can become invisible.
For many years, LGBTQ+ populations were excluded from domestic violence research altogether. Even when LGBTQ+ communities began receiving greater attention, bisexual individuals were often grouped together with broader populations in ways that obscured their unique experiences.
The result was a significant gap in understanding. Without data, it becomes difficult to identify trends. Without visibility, it becomes difficult to advocate for resources. Without representation, it becomes difficult to design prevention and intervention efforts that effectively meet survivors’ needs.
We need research that examines their experiences specifically. We need service providers who understand the unique barriers bisexual survivors may face. We need public conversations that acknowledge the role of biphobia in shaping experiences of victimization. When people are left out of the data, they are often left out of the solutions as well.
Pride Means Supporting All Survivors
Pride Month is a celebration of identity, resilience, and community. It is a reminder of how far LGBTQ+ communities have come and how much work remains to be done.
Supporting bisexual survivors requires more than acknowledging that they exist. It requires recognizing the unique challenges they face and confronting the stereotypes that continue to cause harm.
Biphobia is not simply a collection of misconceptions. It can create conditions that increase vulnerability to abuse. It can be used by abusers as a tool of manipulation, isolation, and control. It can discourage survivors from seeking help and contribute to their experiences being overlooked.
When we challenge harmful stereotypes, we do more than promote understanding. We help create environments where survivors are more likely to be believed, supported, and protected. Every survivor deserves access to safety and support. Every survivor deserves to see themselves reflected in conversations about abuse. And every survivor deserves a community willing to listen to their experiences.
This Pride Month, let us commit to making bisexual survivors visible – not only in our celebrations, but also in our advocacy, research, prevention efforts, and support services. Because creating safer communities means ensuring that no survivor is left unseen.
If you need any additional information, have a question, or have a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or clicking 24-Hour Chat with Options.
Written by Anniston Weber
This grant project is supported by the State General Fund for Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, sub-grant number 26-SGF-07, as administered by the Kansas Governor’s Grants Program. The opinions, findings, conclusions or recommendations expressed in this publication are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Office of Kansas Governor.