Morgan Hart – Page 4 – Options Domestic & Sexual Violence Services for Northwest Kansas

June is Pride Month!

Posted on June 2, 2022February 13, 2023 by Morgan Hart

June is Pride Month!

At Options, we serve people in need regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Sexual and domestic violence impact every demographic and every community – including LGBTQ+ people. Because the majority of the domestic violence awareness movement has focused on heterosexual relationships, members of the LGBTQ community have been largely left out of conversation. However, recent research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) shows that LGBTQ+ members fall victim to domestic and sexual violence violence at equal or even higher rates compared to their heterosexual counterparts.

The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Projects (NCAVP) estimates that nearly 1 in 10 LGBTQ+ survivors of intimate partner violence have experienced sexual assault from those partners. Studies suggest that around half of transgender people and bisexual women will experience sexual violence at some point in their lifetimes.

As a community, LGBTQ+ people face higher rates of poverty, stigma, and marginalization, which means they are at greater risk for sexual assault. The LGBTQ+ community also faces higher rates of hate-motivated violence, which can often take the form of sexual assault and domestic battery.

Unfortunately, society both hypersexualizes LGBTQ+ people and stigmatizes their relationships which can lead to intimate partner violence that stems from internalized homophobia and shame.

The CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey found for LGBTQ+ people:

44% of lesbians and 61% of bisexual women experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner.
26% of gay men and 37% of bisexual men experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner.
46% of bisexual women have been raped.
22% of bisexual women have been raped by an intimate partner.
40% of gay men and 47% of bisexual men have experienced sexual violence other than rape.
Only 26% of men in same-sex relationships called the police for assistance after experiencing near-lethal violence.
In 2012, fewer than 5% of LGBTQ survivors of intimate partner violence sought orders of protection.

Within the LGBTQ community, transgender people and bisexual women face the most alarming rates of sexual violence. Among these populations, sexual violence begins early, often during childhood.

The 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey found that 47% of transgender people are sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime. Transgender victims are more likely to experience intimate partner violence in public, compared to those who do not identify as transgender.

Nearly half (48%) of bisexual women who are rape survivors experienced their first rape between ages 11 and 17.

The LGBTQ+ community has unique needs are when it comes to preventing sexual assault and supporting and caring for survivors of sexual violence and making sure we talk about these issues allows us to stop them from happening in the first place.

“Outing” or threatening to reveal one partner’s sexual orientation/gender identity may be used as a tool of abuse in violent relationships and may also be a barrier that reduces the likelihood of seeking help for the abuse. Prior experiences of physical, psychological, or emotional trauma (such as bullying or hate crimes), may make LGBTQ+ victims of domestic violence less likely to seek help.

Several barriers exist to addressing LGBTQ+ intimate partner violence and sexual assault. These include:

The societal stigma that domestic violence does not occur in LGBTQ+ relationships
Potential homophobia from staff of service providers, or from non-LGBTQ+ domestic/sexual violence victims they may work with.
Fear that airing the problems among the LGBTQ+ population will take away from progress toward equality or fuel anti-LGBTQ+ bias.
Domestic violence shelters are sometimes female only, and transgender individuals may not be allowed entrance due to their gender/genital/legal status.
The dangers associated with “being outed” and risking rejection from family, friends, and society.
Low levels of confidence in the effectiveness of the legal system for LGBTQ+ people.

At Options, we welcome everyone. If you or someone you love is an LGBTQ+ victim of abuse, call our 24-hour, toll free helpline at 800-784-4624.

If you need any additional information, have a question, or a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or click 24-Hour Chat with Options.

Written by Anniston Weber

Publicized Trials and the Impact on Future Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

Posted on May 26, 2022February 13, 2023 by Morgan Hart

Photo from NBC News Article. – Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Pool via AP

OPINION

The following article focuses on discussing a case that is highly controversial right now. Open biases coupled with social media have corroded public opinion. However, regardless of your opinion, this case will have an impact on future victims of domestic and sexual violence coming forward. The point of this article isn’t to assign guilt to either of the parties – it’s to discuss the way the public is reacting to a sensationalized trial.

If you visit social media or consume any news, the Johnny Depp versus Amber Heard defamation case is all over. With that comes public opinion. As stated in the beginning of the article, open biases absolutely influence how we are perceiving this trial. Johnny Depp is an icon. His name is internationally recognizable, and he has a massive fan base. Amber Heard is someone who could be considered more of a “rising star” in comparison to the level of fame that Depp has achieved.

In the court of public opinion, all of this is supposedly about “protecting the innocent victim.” But, the decision of who is innocent or not is usually based on superficial reasons – like Depp being an extremely famous actor. No one wants to believe that the actor they love could be an abuser in the same way that it is sometimes hard to accept that a family member or friend could be one. But the truth is that anyone can be an abuser, just like how anyone can be abused.

A popular opinion that has formed from this trial is that “men are finally speaking up about their abuse.” Men already speak up about the abuse they face – which is good. They should. All victims should if they can. It just isn’t sensationalized to this degree because it happens at the hand of another man. Terry Crews was assaulted and when he came forward, he was mocked and his overall masculinity was challenged. Brendan Fraser was blacklisted from Hollywood after he came forward. Anthony Rapp is still fighting against Kevin Spacey.

To be clear, this is not to say that women cannot be abusers to men. They can. They absolutely can. However, when focusing on abuse of men, it is important to understand that we have a cultural bias surrounding male abuse to begin with. When you hear about a teacher having sex with her 13-year-old male student, are you criticizing that too? Or are you excited for the boy? When you hear of situations about gay men and abuse within their relationship, do you believe them? Do you recognize that black men are vulnerable to abuse, too? Please start to include these scenarios into your discussions of male abuse. These cases are important but oftentimes trivialized because of our expectations of masculinity.

This case has been used to vilify Amber Heard to a degree that is absolutely unmatched by domestic violence cases perpetrated by men. Some situations that come to mind include Chris Brown, Drake, James Franco, Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, Tommy Lee, Ansel Elgort, and so, so, so many more. These men and their careers have flourished even with these accusations and charges. Regardless of the outcome of this trial, Amber Heard won’t have a career or life that does the same. She will not have the same life after this trial. She could be guilty of abuse, she could be lying, she could be innocent. It doesn’t really matter at this point what is found in court. This is because the public perception of her is that she is “another evil woman out to destroy a successful man’s life.”

This is a phrase we’ve heard before when powerful men are accused.

Now, Johnny Depp did allegedly lose movie deals and money from being accused of domestic violence. However, he has not ever been as villainized as Heard has been in the past few months. As of now, Depp is also in the process of signing movie contracts – so his acting career will absolutely continue. It will continue no matter what the verdict of the trial is because the court of public opinion has already decided that he should be absolved of any guilt. This is not to say that he is guilty, just that he will not face any more “backlash” from being accused.

Additionally, because this is a trial that is being aired all over social media, it opens the door for people to make a massive mockery of it. People are making videos making fun of Heard’s sexual assault statement. Videos of her recounting the abuse she may have faced are being picked apart and turned into internet memes.

At this point, it doesn’t necessarily matter if you believe her or not. What matters is if you’re engaging with the people making a mockery of her claims. Amber Heard will not personally see the things you are saying about her abuse claims. But your friend, neighbor, coworker, or family member will. And if they have a similar story, you are essentially proving to them that you will not believe them.

This case has a lot of nuances. Abuse is not always black and white. At the end of the day, though, this trial is going to impact the future of people coming forward with abuse claims. Particularly women. As a woman, it is already difficult to get people to believe you over the fear of “false claims.” But the truth is that false allegations of rape are extremely rare. False rape and abuse allegations occur less often than other false crime reports.

Men, if you are abused, please come forward and please speak up. It is so important that you do so to break the stigma surrounding men and sexual and domestic violence. You are not alone. But using cases of male sexual assault or abuse to discredit the experiences of women is counterproductive.

Believe survivors. Don’t make jokes out of abuse cases. Don’t treat domestic violence and sexual assault cases like sporting events by rooting for your “favorite” person to win. There is no “right way” to react to abuse, and unfortunately, you won’t know how you would react until you are put in that position.

This article reflects the opinions of Anniston Weber and not necessarily all of the Options’ staff.

If you need any additional information, have a question, or a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or click 24-Hour Chat with Options.

Written by Anniston Weber

Mental Health Awareness Month

Posted on May 16, 2022February 13, 2023 by Morgan Hart

Each year, millions of Americans face the reality of living with a mental illness. May is Mental Health Awareness Month – a time used to raise awareness of the importance of mental health care and reduce the stigma associated with mental health disorders.

Survivors of domestic abuse are especially susceptible to mental health disorders. Years of prolonged abuse can leave victims feeling stressed, depressed, anxious, and paranoid.

Nearly one in four women has been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner, and one in nine men has experienced the same.

Bumps, bruises, scratches, and scars are some of the short-term physical effects of domestic violence that are sometimes easy to see. Harder to recognize and treat are the long-term negative effects domestic violence brings to a survivor’s mental health.

The long-term mental health effects of domestic violence can include disorders such as:

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This can result from experiencing a shocking, scary, dangerous, or traumatic event such as sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. Symptoms can include hostility, social and emotional isolation, flashbacks, anxiety, insomnia, and self-destructive behavior.
Depression. This is a serious illness marked by a persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that can lead to multiple behaviors and physical symptoms, including changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, concentration, and daily behavior, as well as thoughts of suicide.
Anxiety. This can be general anxiety about everything and everyday situations, or it can be a sudden attack of intense fear. It can grow worse over time and interfere with daily life. Paranoia can be a part of anxiety, too, and survivors of domestic abuse may be paranoid that their abuser is still “right around the corner,” ready to attack them again.
Eating disorders. A domestic violence survivor may engage in disordered eating behaviors as an attempt to establish some sense of control, particularly when one feels as though their surroundings are chaotic, or that they do not have control over their body. Eating disorders can also develop from constant attacks on a survivor’s self-esteem – as in, they no longer feel worthy of food or living a healthy lifestyle.
Addiction. The weight of repeated abuse is an extremely heavy burden. To ease the strain, many people turn to substances for relief. In some cases, people in abusive relationships are coerced into using drugs to make it easier for their abuser to manipulate them.

The percentage of women who consider their mental health to be poor is almost three times higher among women with a history of domestic violence than those in healthy relationships. As a result, intimate partner victimization is often correlated with an alarmingly high rate of depression and suicidal behavior.

When considering domestic abuse, it is important to remember that not every sign is physical. Many victims must overcome the emotional and mental health effects of psychological aggression, neglect, and financial abuse.

Mental health impacts everything in our day-to-day lives. Someone suffering from a mental health disorder may find inability to work, go to school, care for their children, or care for themselves.

Options works to support victims of domestic and sexual violence by providing resources to local mental health professionals. Our team of advocates are kind, understanding, and empathetic towards individuals who have experienced mental health related problems from their abuse.

If you need any additional information, have a question, or a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or click 24-Hour Chat with Options.

Written by Anniston Weber

Sexual Assault Awareness Month Events

Posted on March 30, 2022February 13, 2023 by Morgan Hart

Options has several community activities and exhibits coming up during April in recognition of Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Below is a list of all of the public events that community members are encouraged to attend or visit.

What Were You Wearing

Date: April 1 – 8
Location: Fort Hays State University, Taylor Gallery in the Center for Applied Technology building
Time: 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.

Join Options and Jana’s Campaign in this exhibit that highlights real survivor stories. This art installation challenges the belief that what a person was wearing attributed to their sexual assault. An advocate will be present during open hours.

Student Advisory Board Poster Making

Date: April 3
Location: Options Conference Room
Time: 6 p.m. – 9 p.m.

The Hays High Student Advisory Board is gathering to create posters about consent. These posters will be displayed at the Spring Art Walk. Art supplies will be provided.

Times Talk with SANE/SART Nurse Program

Date: April 6
Location: Fort Hays State University, Forsyth Library
Time: 12:30 p.m. – 1:30 p.m.

Times Talk is a series hosted by the American Democracy Project providing short presentations to the Fort Hays State University community relating to civic or political engagement, civil discourse, and social or political issues. For Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Times Talk is inviting the sexual assault nurse examination team to speak.

Love and Healthy Relationships Expo

Date: April 6
Location: Fort Hays State University, Black and Gold Room in the Memorial Union
Time: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.

The Center for Empowering Victims of Gender-based Violence is hosting an expo centered around healthy relationships. Options staff will be in attendance to take an in-depth look at victim blaming and how to advocate for your friends.

Tunnel of Oppression

Date: April 7
Location: Fort Hays State University, Ball Room and Black and Gold Room in the Memorial Union
Time: 10 a.m. – 1 p.m.

Student Engagement is hosting the Tunnel of Oppression to showcase the trials different individuals may face based on their gender, sexuality, race, etc. Options is partnering with Us 4 U to show the struggles individuals encounter when trying to leave their abuser.

Red Flag Garden

Date: April 11
Location: Fort Hays State University, Quad
Time: 5:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.

Us 4 U and Options are partnering to put on the Red Flag Garden to showcase problematic relationship behaviors. Each red flag we “plant” will have a different behavior that is a “warning sign” for abusive relationships. A FREE meal will be provided for the first 20 students that come to the event.

What Were You Wearing – Colby

Date: April 13
Location: Colby Community College, Fireside Lounge in the Student Union
Time: 9 a.m. – 4 p.m.

This art installation challenges the belief that what a person was wearing attributed to their sexual assault. The exhibit asks viewers to understand that sexual assault is NEVER about the clothing the survivor was wearing. The sexual assault violates the survivor’s mind, physical being, and emotions; it is not simply woven into the fabric of the survivor’s clothing. An advocate will be present during open hours.

Can We Just Talk? – Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Date: April 14
Location: Breathe Coffee House
Time: 7 p.m. – 9 p.m.

In order to promote powerful communication, Breathe Coffee House is hosting “Can We Just Talk.” For sexual assault awareness month, the Options Campus Advocate has been invited to speak about issues surrounding sexual assault and domestic violence in the community.

Strangulation Summit

Date: April 20
Location: Zoom (please email [email protected] to register)
Time: 9 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Speakers Kelsey McKay, Jessica Albers, and Colleen Brooks will be talking about the issues surrounding strangulation in domestic or sexual violence cases. The Summit will be presented virtually FREE of cost. A zoom invite will be sent with registration confirmation. Register by emailing [email protected]. Please include in the body of the email your name, position and organization.

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes

Date: April 22
Location: Fort Hays State University, Quad
Time: 4 p.m. – 6 p.m.

There is an old saying: “You can’t understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” To get people listening, learning, and talking, Sigma Chi and Options are hosting Walk a Mile in Her Shoes. This event is a campus-wide march to bring awareness to sexualized violence.

Trinity Lutheran Benefit BBQ

Date: April 24
Location: Trinity Lutheran Church
Time: 12 p.m. – 2 p.m.

Trinity Lutheran Church is hosting a free-will donation BBQ. A variety of smoked meats, baked beans, coleslaw, and dessert will be available. All proceeds will be donated to Options.

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes – Colby

Date: April 29
Location: Colby Community College, Quad
Time: 10:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m.

Colby Community College and Options are hosting Walk a Mile in Her Shoes. This event is a campus-wide march to bring awareness to sexualized violence.

Shine Your Support – Colby

Date: April 29
Location: Colby Community College, Student Union
Time: 1:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.

Students at CCC and community members of Colby are encouraged to decorate their homes with purple light bulbs or other purple/teal decorations in support of Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Free purple lightbulbs will be provided to individuals wanting to participate.

Spring Art Walk

Date: April 30
Location: Downing Nelson Oil Company (111 W 10^th St, Hays)
Time: 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Join Options at the Spring Art Walk to participate in an interactive art therapy exhibit. The exhibit will feature a wedding dress and tuxedo which participants are encouraged to paint on, write on, cut, or tear to express their feelings regarding their own relationship trauma. The Hays High School Student Advisory board will also be present for a bake sale where all proceeds will be donated to Options. Entries for the poster contest can also be viewed at the Spring Art Walk, and Options will announce the winner that afternoon.

Tardeada Community Fiesta

Date: May 7
Location: Downtown Pavilion (10^th & Main in Hays)
Time: 4 p.m. – 10 p.m.

United Way of Ellis County invites the public to an evening filled with information and fun. Come learn about the different resources and services agencies provide while enjoying some local foods. Additionally, there will be piñatas, a dance and cultural booths. Options will have an information table up from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m.

Rock Against Rape

Date: May 7
Location: Sip N’ Spin (209 W 10^th St, Hays)
Time: 8 p.m. – 1:30 a.m.

Take a stand against sexual assault and rape at this concert hosted by Options. There is no entry fee to attend. Featuring: Modern Mystics, Free Minded, Blast Monkeys, Graveside, Kuwabara, and Cactus Collateral.

If you need any additional information, have a question, or a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or click 24-Hour Chat with Options.

Written by Anniston Weber

Women’s History Month – Leading the Next Generation

Posted on March 28, 2022February 13, 2023 by Morgan Hart

For Women’s History Month, Options wants to highlight some of the outstanding women in our community who are dedicated to spreading awareness about domestic and sexual violence.

Sue Ann Tebo has been teaching at for 32 years. Her classes at Hays High School include Family Studies, Life Management, Culinary Arts, and Career Connections. She regularly invites outside organizations to speak to her classes about life skills and how to navigate in the “real world” – including Options.

“The students really gain valuable information that they can use for their entire life,” she said. “I am all about life skills and how to utilize those skills.”

Tebo believes promoting healthy relationships within her classroom is imperative for her students.

“It is important. It is needed. I firmly believe in educational practices to help promote healthy relationship behaviors and respect among adolescents,” she said. “I truly believe that the exposure to these situations has made an enormous impact. I have had many students tell me how much this information and exposure has helped them in their own relationships.”

Helping others in potentially abusive relationships is another impact that Tebo says these discussions have had on her classes.

“They have also explained how they were able to help other people who are not in healthy relationships,” she said. “This is what it’s all about — using the skills that you are given to help yourself and others. The students are able to identify red flags and understand what needs to be done if a person is in an unhealthy relationship. Exposure to this information is vital in helping students to know and understand what is healthy and what is not healthy.”

One of the most impactful facts that Tebo says she has learned through working with Options and other organizations is that domestic and sexual violence truly do not discriminate.

“This affects people of all ages—babies through elderly. Many times, I don’t think others realize this at all. This is very impactful,” she said. “Options has been an incredible resource for all of us. My students share the information with their friends and family—it becomes widespread. We want the world to know about healthy relationships!”

Tebo has been instrumental in helping to create the Options Student Advisory Board, a group of Hays High School students who regularly meet to discuss how to spread awareness of issues surrounding domestic and sexual violence to other high schoolers. The Student Advisory Board has created a Teen Safety Plan, participated in Chalk About Love, helped with the What Were You Wearing art installation, and is in the process of hosting a bake sale for the Spring Art Walk in Hays.

“I am so very proud of the group of students who are actively engaged on the Options Advisory Board,” she said. “They have come up with some incredible ideas and have shown strong passion for this. This is exactly what we need—teens to help spread the word and share ideas and be involved.”

Tebo says that she wants her students to always know that there are resources to help them if they are ever in a situation that is unsafe.

“I want students to know that there is always help available,” she said. “There is always a way out. They deserve to be treated with respect. I want them to know how they can get the help they need whether it is the student or someone that they know who needs the help.”

Keep up with Options blog posts during March to see more stories of women leadership in the field of advocacy.

If you need any additional information, have a question, or a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or click 24-Hour Chat with Options.

Written by Anniston Weber

Women’s History Month – Women of the Anti-Rape Movement

Posted on March 4, 2022February 13, 2023 by Morgan Hart

In honor of Women’s History Month, Options will be highlighting exceptional women who have worked to combat gender-based violence. This first installation of articles will focus on the history of the anti-rape movement while honoring the brave women who first fought for justice.

Throughout most of history, rape was not viewed as a crime because women were considered property, and, therefore, without rights. Since women were viewed as objects, men took women as an act of aggression. In most cultures, marriages were arranged when the groom purchased the bride from her father. Rape was initially considered a crime only in terms of the property violation of another man. Punishment was delivered to a man who damaged the husband’s “property” (his wife) by rape. Very often the raped woman would be punished as an adulteress as well. For instance, ancient Hebrew women who were raped were considered “defiled,” and stoned to death.

The earliest documented efforts to confront and organize against rape began in the 1870s when African-American women, most notably Ida B. Wells, took leadership roles in organizing anti-lynching campaigns. The efforts of Ida and the women she worked with led to the formation of the Black Women’s Club movement in the late 1890s and laid the groundwork for the later establishment of a number of national organizations, such as the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Although women continued individual acts of resistance throughout the first half of the twentieth century, the next wave of anti-rape activities began in the late 1960s and early 1970s during other civil rights and student movements.

Recy Taylor was 24 in 1944 when she was kidnapped by six men while walking home from church in and gang-raped in the back of a truck. Even though one of the perpetrators had confessed, two juries refused to indict the accused. When the details of her story were reported in the Black Press, the NAACP sent Rosa Parks to the city where she was assaulted to investigate the matter. Parks then established the Committee for Equal Justice for Mrs. Recy Taylor, and the leaders of went on to organize the Montgomery Bus Boycotts. In 2011, the Alabama State Legislature officially apologized to Taylor for its lack of prosecution.

From the beginning of the anti-rape movement, education has been an important component of the response to sexual violence. Initial efforts focused on raising awareness about the prevalence and impact of the experience of rape, bringing forward the voices of survivors, and emphasizing the need for resources dedicated to these specific instances of assault. These educational activities established the foundation which eventually led to an improved criminal justice response to sexual violence, expanded healthcare services such as Sexual Assault Nurse Examinations (SANEs), and funding for a wide range of sexual assault prevention and intervention programs (especially the federal Violence Against Women Acts).

In 1971, Oleta “Lee” Kirk Abrams co-founded the nation’s first rape crisis center. Abrams founded the nonprofit “Bay Area Women Against Rape,” which still serves hundreds of women each year from its Oakland offices. She was inspired to create the nonprofit after her 15-year-old foster daughter was raped at Berkeley High School.

A few years into the anti-rape movement, Susan Brownmiller, an American journalist and activist, wrote her book “Against Our Will: Men, Women, and Rape.” In her book, published in 1975, Brownmiller argued that rape had been previously defined by men rather than women, and that men use it as a means of perpetuating male dominance by keeping all women in a state of fear. To research for her book, she spent four years investigating rape. She studied rape throughout history and collected clippings to find patterns in the way in which rape is reported in various types of newspapers. She also analyzed portrayals of rape in literature, films, and popular music, and evaluated crime statistics. The New York Public Library selected “Against Our Will” as one of 100 most important books of the 20th century.

Organizing efforts during this movement also brought national attention to the imprisonment of several women of color who defended themselves against the men who raped and assaulted them. Inez Garcia in 1974, Joan (Jo Ann) Little in 1975, Yvonne Wanrow in 1976, and Dessie Woods in 1976, are all victims of rape or assault who fought back, killed their attackers, were imprisoned, and brought the issue of rape into political organizations that had not historically focused on rape. Dessie Woods was eventually freed in 1981, after a long and difficult fight for her freedom.

Even after all of this progress, women today are typically left to struggle with the trauma that the act of violence and violation has inflicted on them — trauma which lasts their entire lives. Yet despite the statistics of violence against women worldwide, stories of individual women and their acts of courage, hope, and resilience continue to emerge in many ways from hashtag discussions on social media to high profile sexual assault and rape cases where dozens of women come forward to finally force powerful predators like Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby to face the consequences of their acts of violence and abuse.

Having been through the pain of unspeakable violence and overcoming their traumas, many survivors become women’s human rights activists who show incredible courage in coming forward with their stories in a world that habitually victim-blames women and girls. During the month of March, Options hopes to continue to highlight the stories of women who have made a difference in the world around sexual and domestic violence.

Keep up with Options blog posts during March to see more stories of women leadership in the field of advocacy.

If you need any additional information, have a question, or a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or click 24-Hour Chat with Options.

Written by Anniston Weber

Break Up with Dating Violence

Posted on February 14, 2022February 13, 2023 by Morgan Hart

Every February, Options hosts community events to raise awareness about the issue of teen dating violence through Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. This year, community members were invited to draw or write with chalk about healthy relationships during the event “Breakup with Teen Dating Violence” at the Hays Public Library.

The event, hosted over the weekend, focused on sharing encouraging words for teens who may be going through an abusive relationship. Messages written in chalk range from spreading positivity to reminding viewers that it is “okay to say no,” and that “love is not abuse.” The goal of the event was to show participants and those just passing by that there are resources within their community to seek help if they are in an abusive relationship.

Dating violence is more common than people think, especially among teens and young adults. One in three teens in the United States will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they are in a relationship with before they become adults.

Teen dating violence is a type of intimate partner violence that can take many forms. Although teen dating violence is sometimes clear physical or sexual abuse, that is not always the case.

For example, sometimes teen dating violence involves economic abuse. A teen may be the victim of this form of abuse if their partner is stealing from them or otherwise taking advantage of them financially by manipulating them into spending their money. Teen dating violence can also be verbal or emotional in nature. The fact that a victim was not physically assaulted doesn’t mean that the words and behaviors of their partner aren’t harming them in ways that many may not initially notice.

Unfortunately, many cases of teen dating violence go unreported because victims are afraid to tell their family and friends. If you are experiencing dating abuse, reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or contact an advocate at Options. Our services are free, voluntary, and confidential.

Options is hosting another Teen Dating Violence Awareness event with Hays High School students on February 22. Students will be encouraged to chalk messages of encouragement and support for their peers who may be involved in an abusive partner situation.

If you need any additional information, have a question, or a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or click 24-Hour Chat with Options.

Written by Anniston Weber

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Posted on February 1, 2022February 13, 2023 by Morgan Hart

February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness month. During the month of February, Options is dedicating time to bringing awareness to the impacts of teen dating violence and highlighting our support for survivors of abuse. Teen dating violence is an issue that impacts everyone – not just teens – but also their parents, friends, teachers, and the community as a whole.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), nearly one in nine female teens and one in 13 male teens report experiencing physical dating violence. Additionally, approximately one in seven female teens and one in nine male teens report that they have experienced sexual dating violence.

Teen dating violence is not limited to in-person interactions, either. With the rise of technology and the popularization of social media, another form of dating violence has gained prevalence in teen communities – stalking. A 2020 analysis published in the journal Youth & Society found that 48 percent of 12 to 18-year-olds who have been in a relationship have been stalked or harassed by a partner.

The impact of these unhealthy relationship dynamics during adolescence can disrupt emotional development and contribute to other long-term negative effects. According to the CDC, teens who experience dating violence are more likely to exhibit antisocial behaviors, engage in unhealthy behaviors such as tobacco, drug and alcohol use, experience depression and anxiety, and consider suicide. These symptoms can continue into adulthood, meaning that a long-term consequence of unhealthy relationships in adolescence is an increased risk for problems in future relationships. For example, individuals who experience dating violence in high school are more likely to be revictimized in college or within the workplace.

Signs of teen dating violence include (but aren’t limited to):

Checking their partners phone, email, or social media accounts without their permission.
Explosive outbursts, temper, or mood swings.
Putting their partner down frequently, especially in front of others.
Isolating their partner from friends or family (physically, financially, or emotionally).
Extreme jealousy or insecurity.
Any form of physical harm.
Possessiveness or controlling behavior.
Pressuring their partner or forcing them to have sex.

So, what can you do?

TALK TO TEENS!

If you’re a parent, create a safe space where you can have these discussions with your teenager. As a parent, you’re a crucial part of helping them develop healthy relationships and providing the support necessary to build their confidence to leave the bad ones. Teens can be tricky, so it is important to maintain trust between you and your child – which means you should do your best to respect their decision making even if you disagree with them.

If you’re a teen and you suspect your friend may be in an abusive relationship, find an opportunity to bring it up to them. Relationships exist on a spectrum, and it can sometimes be hard to tell when a behavior goes from healthy to unhealthy and abusive. Dating abuse is a pattern of coercive, intimidating, or manipulative behaviors used to exert power and control over a partner. Giving your friend the space to safely express their concerns without judgement is crucial. If you can, find an adult you trust to also share your concerns with. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.

Look out for additional information involving Options events for Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month! facebook.com/OptionsHays

If you need any additional information, have a question, or a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or click 24-Hour Chat with Options.

Written by Anniston Weber

Rain is normally a blessing

Posted on September 24, 2021February 13, 2023 by Morgan Hart

Rain is normally a blessing in northwest Kansas, but now when your basement leaks and it’s part of a safe space. Rain made shelter life miserable, “I would assure myself it was the dry season,” Kelsey Hogan, Director of Client Services, said. “And then, it started raining again.”

The basement at the shelter house, a 1960s block basement, was letting water in. Paneling on the walls was damaged and so was the flooring and furniture.

Jennifer Hecker, Executive Director, decided “making do with what you have’ had been a habit and it was time to break the ‘make do’ mindset.

“When we approached the Robert A. and Patricia E. Schmidt Foundation, we were in hopes of some help for the shelter. Perhaps a portion of what we needed? Because, what we needed was a complete water abatement plan for the shelter, and we know that was a lot!”

Bob and Pat Schmidt, like you, are true heroes to the survivors of domestic abuse in northwest Kansas.

The foundation not only paid for a water abatement system with new guttering and a French drain installation around the shelter home, it also fixed the majority of the damage on the interior and allowed for some new furniture!

Without donors like you and the legacy the Schmidt’s prepared for the community of northwest Kansas, the shelter would not be possible. Thank you!

June is Pride Month!

Publicized Trials and the Impact on Future Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

Mental Health Awareness Month

Sexual Assault Awareness Month Events

Women’s History Month – Leading the Next Generation

Women’s History Month – Women of the Anti-Rape Movement

Break Up with Dating Violence

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Signs of teen dating violence include (but aren’t limited to):

So, what can you do?

TALK TO TEENS!

Project Pathway Launch

Rain is normally a blessing

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