When it comes to dedication, few people embody it quite like our Executive Director, Jennifer. For the past 10 years, Jennifer has been a driving force at Options – though her journey began long before stepping into the role of Executive Director. She first joined Options as a volunteer, learning the heart of advocacy from the ground up. Over the years, she’s worn many hats, from advocate to leader, and her passion for supporting survivors has only grown stronger along the way.
While much of Jennifer’s work now happens behind the scenes – managing grants, overseeing programs, and ensuring the organization continues to grow – her roots as an advocate are at the center of everything she does. She’s the voice of Options in the community, the steady hand guiding our mission forward, and a constant source of support for staff and survivors alike.
Her decade of service is a testament to her compassion, perseverance, and commitment to creating a safer, stronger community for everyone.
Domestic Violence Awareness Month may have concluded, but we are still showing our gratitude for our amazing staff! Stay tuned in the coming weeks for more “Ask an Advocate” interviews.
Now, let’s get into Jennifer’s interview!
What is your name, title, and how long have you worked at Options?
I’m Jennifer Hecker, Executive Director of OPTIONS. I started here as a volunteer in 2015 and became Executive Director in 2017, so I’ve been with the organization for nearly a decade now and in leadership for about eight years. Starting as a volunteer really shaped my understanding of our work from the ground up.
What does a “day in the life” of your role actually look like, and how does it change from day to day?
I like to say “It’s never the same day twice at OPTIONS,” which is both challenging and energizing. I might start the morning reviewing grant applications and budget reports, then shift to meeting with our staff about complex cases. By afternoon, I could be presenting to community partners about our services, and end the day responding to a crisis situation or supporting staff through a difficult case. What remains constant is being available for my team and ensuring our survivors receive the individualized support they deserve.
What’s one thing people misunderstand most about your job?
People often think my role is primarily administrative – managing budgets and writing reports. While those are important parts of the work, much of what I do is about creating the conditions for healing to happen. I’m constantly thinking about how our policies, our physical spaces, even our tone of voice reflects the dignity that every survivor deserves. It’s about ensuring that every interaction honors people’s humanity.
If someone shadowed you for a day, what would surprise them the most?
They’d probably be surprised by how much laughter happens here. We use humor as a way to process difficult emotions and build resilience – both for survivors and staff. It’s not about making light of trauma, but about finding moments of joy and connection even in the midst of pain. Healing doesn’t happen in somber silence; it often happens through authentic human connection, including shared moments of lightness.
What’s the hardest part of saying goodbye to a survivor who’s moving on?
The hardest part is the transition from being someone they could count on to trusting that they have internalized the strength they always had. There’s this beautiful moment when someone realizes they don’t need us anymore – that they’ve reclaimed their power and voice. It’s exactly what we work toward, but it can be bittersweet knowing our chapter in their journey is closing, even as we celebrate their growth.
What’s a small “win” that makes you feel like the work you do really matters?
When a survivor tells us they’ve started dreaming about their future again – not just surviving day to day, but actually making plans. Or when someone who once couldn’t make eye contact walks into our office with their shoulders back, speaking their truth with confidence. These moments remind me that healing isn’t just about safety; it’s about people reclaiming their whole selves.
What’s a ritual or habit you use to transition out of “work mode” after a tough day?
I have a 10-minute drive home that I use intentionally. I’ll put on music that matches my mood – sometimes it’s something peaceful, usually it needs to be something I can sing loudly to release the tension. By the time I get home, I’ve given myself permission to feel whatever the day brought up, and then I can be present for my family. My only rule: I must sit in the car singing as loudly as possible until the end of the song.
How do you remind yourself to rest when you feel like there’s always more to do?
I had to learn this the hard way. I realized I was modeling unhealthy patterns for my staff, essentially telling them through my actions that self-care wasn’t important. Now I’m intentional about taking time off and talking about it openly. I remind myself that if I burn out, I can’t serve anyone well. Rest isn’t selfish – it’s strategic.
Who or what do you lean on when the work feels overwhelming?
My team – both our staff and our Board of Directors – is my greatest source of strength. We’ve created a culture where we can be honest about when we’re struggling. I also lean on humor – we’ve learned to find lightness even in dark moments. And frankly, the survivors themselves often teach me resilience. Watching someone rebuild their life reminds me why this work matters, even on the hardest days.
What’s something you’ve learned about yourself because of this job?
I’ve learned that I’m much stronger than I thought, AND also that strength doesn’t mean carrying everything alone. This work has taught me to lead from the back – to create space for others to shine and to trust that people support what they help create. I’ve discovered that my role isn’t to have all the answers, but to help create conditions where solutions can emerge.
Do you have a “comfort item” at work (a photo, snack, playlist, etc.) that helps you get through the day?
I keep a small collection of thank-you notes from survivors in my desk drawer. Not for the praise, but because they remind me of the incredible strength of the human spirit. When I’m feeling discouraged, I’ll read one and remember that healing is possible, that resilience is real, and that this work makes a difference in ways I might never fully understand. When all else fails, there’s nothing that a Ding-Dong and a Dr. Pepper can’t cure!
How do you celebrate even the smallest successes?
We celebrate everything here – someone getting their GED, finding an apartment, their first day at a new job, even just having a day without nightmares. We might bring in donuts, give high-fives, or simply take a moment to acknowledge the courage it took. I’ve learned that celebration is part of healing – it helps people recognize their own progress and builds momentum for the next step.
What’s the most unexpected lesson a client or coworker has taught you?
A survivor once told me, “You can’t save me, but you can believe in me while I save myself.” That completely shifted how I understood my role. It taught me that real help isn’t about rescuing people – it’s about creating space for their own strength to emerge and honoring their expertise in their own lives.
When did you know that advocacy work was the right fit for you?
Like many people, my family has been impacted by domestic violence and sexual assault. But it wasn’t just personal experience that called me to this work – it was realizing that I could help create something different. When I started volunteering in 2015, I saw how the right support at the right moment could change everything. That’s when I knew this was where I belonged.
What motivates you to show up on the really hard days?
Knowing that someone might be making the hardest phone call of their life today, and that we’ll be here to answer it with compassion and expertise. Every day, people are choosing to reach out for help, and that takes incredible courage. I want to honor that courage by showing up as my best self.
What’s your go-to “pick me up” song or snack at work?
I have a playlist I call “Work Time” with everything from Aretha Franklin to current pop songs that just make me smile. And I always keep chocolate in my office – it’s amazing how sharing a piece of chocolate can create a moment of sweetness in a difficult conversation.
If you could describe your advocacy style in three words, what would they be?
Collaborative, authentic, and hopeful. I believe people support what they create, so I work to involve everyone in finding solutions. I try to bring my whole self to this work – including my sense of humor and my own learning process. And even on the hardest days, I hold onto hope because I’ve seen too many people reclaim their lives to believe healing isn’t possible.
What’s one thing about you that your coworkers might not even know?
I’m actually pretty introverted. People see me presenting to community groups or facilitating meetings and assume I’m naturally outgoing. But I need quiet time to recharge, and some of my best thinking happens in solitude. I’ve learned that being an effective leader doesn’t mean being the loudest voice in the room – sometimes it means creating space for others to speak.
If you need any additional information, have a question, or a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or click 24-Hour Chat with Options.
This grant project is supported by the State General Fund for Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, sub-grant number 25-SGF-07, as administered by the Kansas Governor’s Grants Program. The opinions, findings, conclusions or recommendations expressed in this publication are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Office of Kansas Governor.