Oftentimes, when people think about domestic violence or abusive relationships, they immediately picture physical violence. However, abuse can take many forms, including emotional manipulation, intimidation, isolation, financial control, and coercion. In many cases, these non-physical forms of abuse become the foundation of an abuser’s power, allowing them to exert control over nearly every aspect of a victim’s life.
One of the most pervasive forms of abuse is coercive control – a pattern of behavior designed to dominate another person and limit their independence. Rather than relying solely on physical violence, abusers may use threats, surveillance, humiliation, isolation, financial dependence, or manipulation to maintain power. Over time, this constant erosion of autonomy can leave survivors feeling trapped, powerless, and emotionally exhausted.
For some survivors, substance use becomes entangled in this pattern of control. The relationship between abuse and addiction is often far more complex than many people realize. Substance use may develop as a way to cope with the fear, stress, and trauma of an abusive relationship, but it can also become another tool an abuser uses to maintain power. During Mental Health Awareness Month, it is important to recognize how coercive control and substance dependence can intersect, creating cycles that are incredibly difficult to escape.
In some abusive relationships, an abuser may encourage or pressure their partner to use drugs or alcohol. What begins as occasional use or experimentation can gradually evolve into dependence, particularly when substances become a way to manage anxiety, emotional pain, or the ongoing stress of living in an unsafe environment. For survivors, substances may offer temporary relief from fear or trauma, even as they create new challenges.
Some abusers take this dynamic a step further by intentionally fostering or maintaining a victim’s dependence. They may supply drugs or alcohol, control access to substances, exploit a victim while they are under the influence, or use addiction to increase the survivor’s reliance on the relationship. In these situations, substance use becomes more than a coping mechanism – it becomes part of the abuse itself. An abuser may threaten to withhold substances, report the victim to authorities, or use their addiction to undermine their credibility with family members, employers, healthcare providers, or the courts.
As these patterns continue, survivors can become trapped in a powerful cycle. The abuse creates emotional pain and trauma, substances provide temporary relief, and the resulting dependence can make leaving feel even more overwhelming. Shame, financial instability, isolation, and fear of judgment often deepen over time, reinforcing the very conditions that allow abuse to continue.
These barriers are often compounded by the stigma surrounding addiction. Many survivors fear they will not be believed or supported because of their substance use. They may worry that others will view them as irresponsible, unstable, or somehow responsible for the abuse they are experiencing. Some fear losing custody of their children, facing legal consequences, or being rejected by the people they trust most.
Unfortunately, abusers are often quick to exploit those fears. They may convince victims that no one will believe them because of their addiction or mental health struggles. They may use recordings, photographs, or past mistakes as leverage, creating a sense of hopelessness and dependence. By fostering instability and self-doubt, abusers can make survivors feel incapable of surviving on their own, even when help is available.
Substance use can also increase vulnerability to other forms of victimization. A person under the influence may have greater difficulty recognizing danger, protecting themselves, or seeking help safely. This can increase the risk of sexual violence, financial exploitation, and physical harm. In some cases, substances are even used intentionally to impair a person’s ability to consent or resist.
It is important to challenge common misconceptions about addiction and abuse. Not every survivor who struggles with substance use had a history of addiction before the relationship. For many, substance use develops in response to chronic stress, trauma, fear, and emotional pain. What others see as a substance use problem may, in reality, be a survival strategy developed in response to ongoing abuse.
Understanding this dynamic requires us to recognize the close connection between trauma and substance use. Survivors of abuse frequently experience anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, panic attacks, sleep disturbances, and overwhelming emotional distress. When someone is living in a constant state of fear or uncertainty, they may seek relief wherever they can find it. For some, substances become a way to numb emotional pain, manage traumatic memories, or simply make it through another day.
This reality was highlighted during a conference I attended, where a survivor of human trafficking shared a perspective that has stayed with me. Reflecting on her experience, she explained that heroin was the only thing that got her through her trafficking situation. While she later faced the challenges of addiction recovery, she described substance use as a coping mechanism that helped her survive circumstances that felt otherwise unbearable. Her story serves as a powerful reminder that when we look at substance use through a trauma-informed lens, we often see far more than addiction – we see someone trying to survive.
Of course, what begins as a survival strategy can eventually create new challenges. While substances may provide temporary relief from emotional pain, they can also deepen dependence, worsen mental health symptoms, and create additional barriers to safety and recovery. For survivors trapped in abusive relationships, this can make an already difficult situation feel even more impossible to escape.
As a result, leaving an abusive relationship that involves substance dependence can be especially dangerous and complex. Survivors may face withdrawal symptoms, homelessness, financial insecurity, threats from their abuser, or limited access to treatment and support services. Many have been isolated from friends and family for years, leaving them without the support networks that might otherwise help them rebuild. Others may struggle to imagine a future beyond the abuse, particularly if their abuser has spent years convincing them they cannot survive on their own. And, in some cases, survivors who reach out for help may discover that accessing services is more complicated than they anticipated. Substance use policies within certain shelters or residential programs can limit eligibility, leaving individuals who are coping with both abuse and addiction with fewer immediate options and difficult decisions about where to turn for safety.
These realities underscore the importance of trauma-informed support. Survivors facing both abuse and substance dependence need more than treatment for addiction alone; they need safety, compassion, and services that recognize the impact of trauma on their lives. Recovery is rarely a straight path, and healing often requires addressing both the effects of abuse and the challenges of substance dependence simultaneously.
Support systems can play a critical role in that process. Domestic violence advocates, mental health professionals, addiction counselors, healthcare providers, and community organizations can help survivors develop safety plans, access treatment, and begin rebuilding stability. Just as important, however, is creating environments where survivors feel believed rather than blamed.
Friends, family members, coworkers, and community members all have a role to play in reducing stigma. Too often, survivors encounter questions that imply judgment, such as “Why didn’t you just leave?” or assumptions that their substance use somehow makes them responsible for the abuse they experienced. A more supportive response might be as simple as saying:
- “I’m here for you.”
- “You don’t deserve this.”
- “How can I support you?”
- “There are people who can help.”
Healing from both trauma and substance dependence takes time. Survivors may experience setbacks, fear, shame, or uncertainty throughout their recovery journey. Yet recovery remains possible. With the right support, survivors can rebuild their sense of safety, regain independence, and move toward a future free from abuse and control.
Mental Health Awareness Month reminds us that trauma, addiction, mental health, and domestic violence are deeply interconnected. To truly support survivors, we must be willing to understand the complex realities they face – including the ways coercive control can intersect with substance use and dependency. When we approach these conversations with empathy rather than judgment, we create space for survivors to seek help, find healing, and reclaim their lives.
If you need any additional information, have a question, or have a concern, feel free to reach out to Options at our 24-hour toll-free helpline 800-794-4624. You can also reach an advocate via text by texting HOPE to 847411 or clicking 24-Hour Chat with Options.
Written by Anniston Weber
This grant project is supported by the State General Fund for Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, sub-grant number 26-SGF-07, as administered by the Kansas Governor’s Grants Program. The opinions, findings, conclusions or recommendations expressed in this publication are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Office of Kansas Governor.